Am I The Only One Who Started Laughing To The Thought Of 84 Year Old Joe Pa Getting Run The Fuck Over?

Penn State coach Joe Paterno suffered injuries to his right shoulder and hip when a receiver ran into him during practice Sunday. Paterno was "blindsided" by a player running a drill but "walked away after the collision," according to a statement released Monday by the team. Paterno sustained a hairline fracture to his pelvis, sources told ESPN's Chris Fowler.  But the 84-year-old coach was not expected to require surgery, said Dr. Wayne Sebastianelli, Penn State's director of athletic medicine. A team spokesman said he would likely be released by Tuesday afternoon. Paterno was taking notes when receiver Devon Smith, a 5-foot-7, 157-pound junior, ran into the coach. Paterno walked off the field at the end of practice but was cornered by physicians who insisted he be examined.

Nothing worse than getting blindsided. It's all sorts of embarrassing, painful, and just straight up infuriating. But I will say the thought of an 84 year old little italian shit getting knocked over is comedic gold. Old people falling does it for me. Little kids falling down and crying is sad but old man river getting his hip popped back into place after getting pain trained is just the opposite. You can't help but laugh. Maybe it's because old people fall so slowly? You're never gonna see one fall down and pop up fast. It's like a process whenever they get hit. First there's the sudden contact, then the croaky ass moan like "oohh nooooo" followed by crinkly bones hitting the pavement and it all ends with the worst bitch stare down you've ever seen. I'm not even kidding. If you accidentally tap somebody over the age of 75, it's like you shoved a dildo in their ass without them knowing and burned a cross on their lawn. That's the level of disgust they have for you. It's bizarre.