Stevie Williams Just Said This Was The Greatest Week Of His Life. Yeah OK.

Listen. I love Adam Scott. Always have and always will. And I've probably said it a million times but if Tiger can't win it then I'm always pulling for the young stud from down under. But now I'm not so sure with a bitter Steve Williams on his bag. Is he really gonna pull this slighted ex-girlfriend shit every time Adam Scott finishes better than Tiger? This is the best week you've ever had as a caddie? Really? What about those 13 other major titles you got to be a part of? What about Tiger's bachelor party? You're telling me this week with Adam Scott was that better than blowing lines off a classy and elegant korean stripper's ass while getting your pipe pulled? Really? It's just a low blow on Stevie's part. Fuck him. You got dumped, bro. Thrown to side like a rag doll. We've all been there. It sucks and it hurts and it probably feels like you'll never love again but one day soon you gotta reach down in your trousers, feel your plums and remember you're a man. Men don't bitch and whine and take digs at their former conquests gone wrong.

Best Sean Avery Story Ever.

New York Rangers forward Sean Avery, out of jail after reportedly calling police officers "fat little pigs" and shoving one of them when they shut down a party at his Los Angeles home, is maintaining his optimism. "I'm all right, I'm good," Avery told the New York Post at his house in West Hollywood after posting $20,000 bond. Neighbors told the Post that Avery had about 10 people over, and that while there was music and "loud talking," nothing out of control took place. One of them, however, called police. According to the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department, at 12:30 a.m., the LAPD responded to a noise complaint. Avery came to the door and allegedly shoved the officer, slamming the door. Upon reopening the door, Avery was arrested. It was during that exchange, according to TMZ.com, that the 31-year-old used the "fat little pigs" line on the police.

Classic.

Did I Really Just Get This Facebook Invite?

My first impressions and inquiries right off the bat?1) Obviously Donahue is attending. 2)Who the fuck is Hilary Khort? 3) What are the repercussions for bad behavior? Is it getting kicked the fuck out or getting kicked the fuck out? 4) Why does the party end at 3:30 PM on the 28 of August? What's holding you back from making it a full 7 day bender? Why pull out 5.5 hours before? CCD class, right? That's gotta be it. Hilary seems like a very angelic broad. And when's the last time you went to a party and somebody told you it was BYOB? That's what we grown ups call common courtesy. It's also just smart. I always prefer to bring my own beer. Mainly because I don't like that cheap balling on a budget keystone shit and I'm very selfish but also it's because I don't fully believe Al-Qaeda is on the downward slope. You never know when a sleeper cell can get the call from the mother ship, ya know what I mean? Isn't a party with a bunch of morons the least likely place for a terrorist attack on today's promising youth? This is why I'm always on my toes. Only we can prevent forest fires.



P.S. Sometimes I just like to imagine babies planning facebook events. Where's the party? "My crib! Zing!"

Lebron Defends Tebow. These Two Dipshits Are Meant To Be

Opinion on Tim Tebow's NFL future is clearly divided, but count LeBron James among the many fans of the former Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback. James took to Twitter on Wednesday, supporting Tebow and proclaiming, "Tim Tebow will succeed in the NFL. He's a hard worker, a student of the game, a natural born leader and most of all a WINNER! It takes time and he'll be nice."  James' tweets were in response to comments from ESPN NFL analyst Merril Hoge's criticism of Tebow earlier Wednesday on Twitter and "SportsCenter." Hoge wrote on Twitter: "Sitting watching tape off bronco offense from last year! Orton or Tebow? It's embarrassing to think the broncos could win with tebow!!" Appearing on "SportsCenter" Wednesday, Hoge, a former running back with the Pittsburgh Steelers, offered a strongly worded critique of Tebow's game. "He is awful as far as accuracy goes and what's kind of even more disturbing, he's probably worse moving and running around with the football and throwing than he is from the pocket," Hoge said. "Can you get better there? A little bit. If everything is perfect, the pocket, your feet are good, all your fundamentals come into place, the coverage is what you want it, you can be successful. But that doesn't happen at the National Football League. Rarely does that happen."

I hate both Lebron and Tebow with a passion it's sort of for the same reason. They're both delusional when it comes to their game. I think Tim Tewbow legitametly believes he's a future hall of fame QB that wasn't drafted by another asshat with an inflated ego(josh mcdaniels) to just sell tickets. But on the other hand, if Lebron says something then we have to believe it. His judgement is never clouded. When's the last time Lebron said the wrong thing or made the wrong publicity move or disappeared in crunch time? I can't remember. If Lebron says Tebow is gonna be"nice" then Tebow is gonna be "nice." A winner knows a fellow winner and both those guys have  proven themselves on the big stage of professional sports.


P.S. Oh Lebron hasn't won a title? But hasn't he been to the Finals twice? And hasn't he led teams into the playoffs as the number #1 seed a whole bunch of times?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Worried? WORRIED?!?!?!?! Michael Jordan doesn't worry about his fadeaway. Tom Terrific doesn't about his passes having enough zip on them. George Clooney doesn't matter about slamming different chicks every night. When you're the best at your craft, there's no need to worry. Worrying is for suckers. Now I'm coming for your ass. I'm sick of these empty threats from these C+ blogs. You want the king? You got the king. You have 36 hours....

I Don't Get It.

I love a good beard and I appreciate a solid goatee but what the fuck is that chin shit? And it's  not like Tiger is the only one trying to work it because it's becoming more and more common. I just don't get why. You're better off dipping your chin into some shitty stained butthole because that's exactly what it looks like you did. The only thing that can make that look cool is winning. It's a actually a must win tourny for him this weekend because if some fucking Italian jerk off makes fun of my Tiger hat at work one more time then I'm gonna burn that deli to the ground. Then I'm gonna make love to thetploch in front of the wicked flames.

Prom Is Next Week. Randy Didn't Have a Date Yet.

 MANKATO, Minn. -- Randy Moss is calling it a career after 13 seasons in the NFL as one of the most dynamic and polarizing players the league has ever seen. Moss's agent, Joel Segal, said Monday that the receiver was considering offers from several teams, but made the decision to retire. Segal declined to comment specifically on the offers, instead saying his 34-year-old client felt the time was right to step away. "Randy has weighed his options and considered the offers and has decided to retire," Segal said.

 Randy Moss might be my least favorite Patriot of all time. Even when he was breaking records, I couldn't really love him the way I wanted to love him. Just way too erratic for me. It would be like dating a former drug addict/slut. You never know when they're gonna flip out and blow up on you and that consistent fear doesn't ever let you get as close as you want. And isn't Randy Moss retiring exactly like somebody pulling themselves out of the prom date race? All your friends have dates. Even Sabrina has a fucking date. You have to make a big decision  here. Either rent that tux today then hope you can find yourself a straggler by next Friday or completely fall off the radar because the one you want doesn't want you so you shun prom, tell everybody it's for suckers and go on your way. That's what Randy did. New York doesn't want him. New England wouldn't even let him give them a handy during recess. He feels like he's too good to go to prom with the cute, underrated chick. He wants the big fish but holly bigtits aint exactly biting his line so he quits.