Thursday, September 29, 2011

Javaris Crittenton is a murderer




Javaris Crittenton never had a chance to establish a reputation in the NBA before he became notorious. He was the other, seemingly insignificant half in one of the most embarassing incidents the Wizards franchise has had to face. Crittenton was an injured, undistinguished player buried on the Wizards’ bench when he got caught up in the infamous locker-room gun incident with Gilbert Arenas in December 2009 — a situation that led to both players getting suspended from the league for the rest of the season, Arenas spending time in a halfway house, and Crittenton pleading guilty a misdemeanor gun charge and a year of probation.

Now, nearly 19 months after he pleaded guilty to possession of an unregistered firearm, Crittenton faces a homicide charge in the death of Jullian Jones, a mother of four. Atlanta police allege that Crittenton fired gunshots from a black Chevy Tahoe. Jones, whose age has been reported either 22 or 23, was struck in the leg and later died during surgery, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported.



Let's face the reality of this situation. Javaris Crittenton is a moron and a punk. When you're a GT basketball star, a first round draft pick in the NBA, and you make millions, how hard can it be to stay away from guns and violence. Enjoy about 20 years in the clink, Javaris. Other than the mother of four that lost her life senselessly, the other sad part of this story is that because of his money, he'll plead out of the death penalty. I love the State using my money to keep useless human beings like this alive in jail for 20+ years.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Andy Roddick Continues To Prove Why He's One Of My All Time Favorite Athletes



I actually paid more attention to this match last night than I did to the Sox game and Roddick is spot on with his criticism. I don't think Mcenroe had one positive thing to say about Roddick's play last night. Like the dude is clearly all butt hurt that Roddick is a more popular player than Mcenroe ever was even though Mcenroe was twice the player that A-Rod is. But that still shouldn't take away from being a fair analyst, even though ESPN doesn't have one fair and even par guy in that fucking company. It's bullshit. I'm all about calling it like you see it but don't stand behind some platform that says you don't have a bias when that favoritism towards certain athletes has been blatant for years.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Tiger Is Going To Bang Suzann Peterson If He Hasn't Already



This is twitter flirting 101. I mean this is exactly how the greats in the game would chalk this play up. Have a shared a experience. Boom, they were partners today. Then compliment the bitch. Done. Mention any type of sexual body part. How does an ass taste? 3 to 1 odds Tiger has her upside down and doing the bulldance with his 8 iron as we speak? I'm taking that bet and riding off into the sunset with my pile of green.

Monday, August 29, 2011

This Dude Has Extra Fingers So He Can Give Your Titties Extra Thumbs Down

BARACOA, Cuba (AP) - They call him "Twenty-Four." Yoandri Hernandez Garrido's nickname comes from the six perfectly formed fingers on each of his hands and the six impeccable toes on each foot.
Hernandez is proud of his extra digits and calls them a blessing, saying they set him apart and enable him to make a living by scrambling up palm trees to cut coconuts and posing for photographs in this eastern Cuban city popular with tourists. One traveler paid $10 for a picture with him, Hernandez said, a bonanza in a country with an average salary of just $20 a month. "It's thanks to my 24 digits that I'm able to make a living, because I have no fixed job," Hernandez said. Known as polydactyly, Hernandez's condition is relatively common, but it's rare for the extra digits to be so perfect. Anyone who glanced quickly at his hands would be hard-pressed to notice anything different unless they paused and started counting. Hernandez said that as a boy he was visited by a prominent Cuban orthopedist who is also one of Fidel Castro's doctors, and he declared that in all his years of travel he had never seen such a case of well-formed polydactyly. "He was very impressed when he saw my fingers," said Hernandez, who is the only one in his family to be born with extra digits. In a part of the world where people's physical traits are often the basis for nicknames - even unflattering ones like "fatty" or "shorty" - "veinticuatro" ("twenty-four" in English) is not an insult but rather a term of endearment, and Hernandez, now 37, said his uniqueness has made him a popular guy. He has a 10-year-old son with a woman who now lives in Havana, and his current girlfriend is expecting his second child. "Since I was young, I understood that it was a privilege to have 24 digits. Nobody has ever discriminated against me for that," he said. "On the contrary, people admire me and I am very proud. I have a million friends, I live well." Nevertheless, it occasionally caused confusion growing up. "One day when I was in primary school, a teacher asked me how much was five plus five?" Hernandez recalled. "I was very young, kind of shy, and I didn't say anything. She told me to count how many fingers I had, so I answered, "12! "The teacher was a little upset, but it was the truth," he said. Hernandez said he hopes he can be an example to children with polydactyly that there's nothing wrong with them. "I think it's what God commanded," he said. "They shouldn't feel bad about anything, because I think it's one of the greatest blessings and they'll be happy in life."

Be prepared to spit out your chocolate milk if you don't already know this fact but my cat has 6 toes on each of his paws. Shit is adorable. He's like the fucking hamburger helper guy with his extra large, white and fluffy paws.  Anyway, I envy the little bastard and the same goes for this communist from Cuba. I'd murder a hobo if it meant I could get an extra finger on each hand. Imagine shaking somebody's hand. They feel that extra finger wrap around and I bet things get real freaky, real fast. And I'm not even gonna start on what it means for cupping body parts but something tells me the most interesting man title might have to be passed on to a new fella.



P.S. Think about cupping a boob and try not to laugh. Can't do it. Same goes for when I hear somebody say "chucking breasts" but I think that's only because I'm the only person who has ever said it in the history of the world.

The Good News Train Keeps On Keepin' On

NORTON, Mass. -- Tiger Woods will play the Frys.com Open in California the first week of October, his first time competing in the PGA Tour's Fall Series as he tries to get his game ready for the Presidents Cup. The Frys.com Open is Oct. 6-9 at CordeValle Golf Club, about 45 minutes south of his alma mater at Stanford. "I always enjoy competing in my home state, and this tournament fits my schedule perfectly," Woods said Monday on his website. "I'm looking forward to seeing some old friends."

Looking forward to seeing some old friends? You old scally wag! This will be the weekend that our boy gets his swagger back. You don't return home as a newly single man with more money than Togs and not roll the dice through a couple old flames. Just doesn't happen. This is exactly what el Tigre needs. 4 days away from his kids and troubles where he can rent out a house on the course with some of his college boys and a couple of bottles of whatever half asian/half blacks drink. Straight kick it Scranton, PA style.